1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:06,590 ( upbeat piano theme playing ) 2 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,090 ( knock on door ) 3 00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:10,090 Oh, Joe. Joe, we just got 4 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,100 the most delightful letter. 5 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,600 Oh, great. Let's hear it. 6 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,600 Uh... "To whom it may concern, 7 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,100 "Sandpiper air ought to be grounded. 8 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,100 "The whole operation stinks, 9 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,110 "from that bag of bolts you call a plane 10 00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,610 to your surly, incompetent pilot." 11 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,110 That's you, Joe. 12 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,610 "My flight was a total disaster." 13 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:31,610 E-excuse me, Fay. "Delightful?" 14 00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,120 Well, I'm getting to that. 15 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,120 "The single saving grace of this miserable experience 16 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,620 "was the woman behind the counter, 17 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,620 "who was friendly, polite 18 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,120 and sympathetic." 19 00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,130 Well, it's a pity more people 20 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:47,130 don't take the time to write. 21 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,130 ( upbeat theme playing ) 22 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,640 ( thudding, glass breaking ) 23 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,640 What is that? 24 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,640 ROY: Damn you. Get out of here and leave me alone. 25 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,640 Oh, uh, it almost sounds as if Roy is being mugged. 26 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,650 Antonio, shouldn't you do something? 27 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,150 ( flatly ): Hey, you, mugger. 28 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,150 Leave our friend Roy alone. 29 00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:09,150 ( door opens ) 30 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,150 ( door closes, Roy sighs ) 31 00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:13,160 Are you all right? No, I'm not all right. 32 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,160 There is a cricket in my office. 33 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,660 It's driving me crazy. 34 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,160 You know, I can catch it for you. 35 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,160 Just make him go away. 36 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,670 All right. 37 00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:24,170 Give me 24 hours and you'll have your man. 38 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,670 Although I won't know that for sure 39 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,170 until I catch it and turn it upside down. 40 00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:33,680 I used to go out with a man who could make 41 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,680 the most realistic cricket sound. 42 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,180 Why would he want to do that? 43 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,180 Oh, he didn't mean to. 44 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,690 He carried all of his weight in his thighs, 45 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,690 and his legs rubbed together when he walked. 46 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,690 When he wore corduroy pants, 47 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,190 you could barely hear yourself think. Ha. 48 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:53,200 ( upbeat theme playing ) 49 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,700 ( knock on door ) 50 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,200 Yeah, come on in. 51 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,210 Alex. 52 00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,710 Thought everyone had gone home. 53 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:06,210 I just stopped by to see if you might like to have a drink. 54 00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:11,720 A drink? Uh...yeah, sure. 55 00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,220 Sure. What did you have in mind? 56 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,720 The, uh, Club Car? The Wharf Tavern? 57 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,220 Or...here's good too. 58 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,720 Thought it might be. 59 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,230 You like whiskey? Yeah. 60 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,730 Well, you won't after you taste this whiskey. 61 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,230 Hey, ho, whoa-- Wah, choo. 62 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,730 What're you trying to do, get me drunk? 63 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,740 No. I'm trying to let you catch up. 64 00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,240 I've been at this for a while. 65 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,240 So...what do you say, Ace? 66 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,740 Down the hatch? 67 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,240 Down the hatch. 68 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,750 Oh, yeah, that's bad all right. 69 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:47,250 I guess this...muffin recipe on the back of the bottle 70 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,250 should have been a tip-off, huh? 71 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:52,760 So, uh...is there some kind of occasion 72 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,260 that we're celebrating here, or...? No. 73 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,760 Got to admit this is a little bit weird. I mean, 74 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,260 ever since you came to this airport, 75 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,260 you've barely given me the time of day. 76 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,270 It's 12:30. Cheers. 77 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,770 All right. 78 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,280 Look. I needed to talk to somebody. 79 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,780 I got a call from my ex-boyfriend tonight. 80 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,280 Oh, it's...not gonna freak you out if I sort of 81 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,280 turn into a girl for a second here, is it? 82 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,280 No. No. 83 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,790 No, I'm just thrilled it's possible. 84 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:27,290 Anyway, he and I lived together down in Florida. 85 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,790 We broke up just before I moved here. 86 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,800 He had this problem making a commitment. 87 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,800 Well, he got over it. 88 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,800 Tonight he told me he's engaged. 89 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,300 Ouch. 90 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,300 Yeah. You have no idea what 91 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:39,800 something like this feels like. 92 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,800 Well, heh, actually-- 93 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,810 I just wasn't what he wanted. Yeah, I know just what-- 94 00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:46,810 He had certain qualities he needed in a wife. 95 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,310 I didn't have them. Well, this thing-- 96 00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:49,810 'Course he can't come out and tell me. 97 00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:53,320 No. He lets me waste four years of my life. You know-- 98 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,320 Oh. Will you stop trying to defend him? 99 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,820 I... 100 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,820 I am not trying to defend him. 101 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:00,820 I was just gonna say 102 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,830 that, uh...I had sort of a... 103 00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,830 similar experience myself. 104 00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,830 See, I got left at the altar. 105 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:07,830 You're kidding. 106 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,830 Oh, that's not even the best part. 107 00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:12,840 She left me for my own brother. 108 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,340 Please tell me 109 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,340 you have more than one brother. 110 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,340 Nope. 111 00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,340 Ah, but Brian got his in the end. 112 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,350 She left him for some other guy too. 113 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,850 So you see, I do sort of 114 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,850 know what you're going through. 115 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,350 Sucks, doesn't it? 116 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,850 I'll tell you now, 117 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,350 I used to actually sit in front of the mirror 118 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,860 and ask myself why I couldn't be more the way 119 00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:34,360 she wanted me to be, you know, 120 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,860 and not so career-oriented, not so anal. 121 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:39,860 But... 122 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:40,860 then again, I'd usually end up 123 00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:43,870 Windexing off the mirror, so... Mm. 124 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:46,870 You are kind of compulsive, aren't you? 125 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,370 Well, actually I'm getting way better. 126 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,370 Although, for the last five minutes 127 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:51,370 I've really wanted to do this: 128 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,380 ( sighs ) ( laughs ) 129 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,880 Hm-hm. What? 130 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,380 You're laughing, I guess you must be feeling a bit better. 131 00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:03,390 I am. Thanks. 132 00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,390 You know...this is nice. 133 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,390 I was a little nervous about coming down here tonight. 134 00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:10,890 Well... I'm glad you did. 135 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,400 At least it gave me a chance to show you that I'm not just 136 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,900 this...crass, immature idiot that's been 137 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,900 chasing around after you all the time. 138 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,400 Well, don't kid yourself. 139 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,410 Haven't exactly hated the attention. 140 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,410 Well, don't kid yourself. 141 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,910 It's not exactly like I'm gonna stop. 142 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,910 So, uh, I guess we should finish these, huh? 143 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:32,920 Oh, wait. What--? What are you doing? 144 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:33,920 Hey... S-- 145 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,920 What'd you do that for? 146 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,920 Because you're driving. 147 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,420 I am? 148 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,930 I'm certainly in no condition. 149 00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:45,430 Uh, well, do you mind if I ask where we're going? 150 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:46,930 My place. 151 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:50,430 Come on. 152 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,940 ( upbeat theme playing ) 153 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,950 ( upbeat theme playing ) 154 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,460 ( cricket chirping ) 155 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,960 Whoa. What is all this? 156 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,470 Oh, I'm clearing out Roy's office. 157 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,470 He asked me to catch a cricket for him. 158 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,970 Wow. I can't believe all this garbage 159 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:27,970 came out of Roy's office. 160 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,470 Oh. Oh. Look at this. 161 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,980 Autographed picture of Nixon. ( giggles ) 162 00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,480 Hm. It's for you. 163 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,980 Oh. Here we go. 164 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:39,480 Catalog of brides from the Far East. 165 00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,990 What is all this? 166 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,490 Oh, that's Roy's unfinished novel: 167 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,490 Love at 30,000 Feet. 168 00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:50,490 Personally, I liked his original title: 169 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:52,000 Ocupado. 170 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,500 Hey, Antonio. Hey. 171 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,500 Good morning, Antonio. Good morning. 172 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,510 You know...I must not be paying attention. 173 00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:05,510 I did not even realize that Alex and Joe 174 00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:06,510 were seeing each other. 175 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,010 Alex and Joe? HELEN: What? 176 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,510 No-- No way. No, she doesn't even like him. 177 00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:11,010 I've never seen them together. 178 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,020 Well, last night I was driving past the building 179 00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:14,520 where Alex lives, 180 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,020 and I saw Joe's car parked out front. 181 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,020 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 182 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,520 Be-- Be-- Be very careful now. 183 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,030 Alex's building on Old Post Road? 184 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:24,030 Yes. It was about 1:30. 185 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:25,530 You sure it was Joe's car? 186 00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,030 Black Jeep, wood trim. 187 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,030 Little dent in the fender I haven't told him about yet? 188 00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:31,530 Yes, I'm positive. 189 00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:33,040 Well, wait. Did you actually see something? 190 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,540 No, well, I-- I looked up at the window, 191 00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,540 but the shades were drawn. 192 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540 I-I suppose he could have been 193 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,540 visiting someone else. 194 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,050 Lots of people live in that building. 195 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,550 Oh, that's right. My friend Nattie Stewart, for one. 196 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,050 Thanks. But I seriously doubt that Joe would be out 197 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,050 in the middle of the night 198 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:51,050 visiting a-- An arthritic 70-year-old Hungarian woman. 199 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:55,560 Don't let the arthritis fool you. 200 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,560 Hey, there. 201 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:01,560 How are you feeling this morning? 202 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,070 ALEX: Like you let me drink too much last night. 203 00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:05,070 But I had a good time. 204 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,570 Good. Me too. 205 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,070 I'm glad. I'll see you, Joe. 206 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,070 I'll see you later. 207 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,070 Did you hear that? 208 00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:13,080 Did you hear what she called him? 209 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,580 She called him Joe. Okay? 210 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,080 As long as Alex has been in Nantucket, 211 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,580 she's only referred to him as Ace, 212 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,080 but this time she called him Joe. 213 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,080 We have our smoking gun. 214 00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:27,090 Excuse me. I'm gonna go find out what happened. 215 00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:33,100 ( sighs ) All right. 216 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,600 ( exhales ) Tell me what happened 217 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,100 with you and Alex last night. 218 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,600 How did you know I was with Alex? 219 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,110 Oh, everybody knows. 220 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,610 Antonio saw your car 221 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,110 parked out in front of her building 222 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:48,110 at 1:30 in the morning, I just heard her call you Joe. 223 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,610 Don't tell me nothing happened. 224 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,610 Everybody in the airport's talking about it. 225 00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:54,120 ( scoffs ) The whole airport? 226 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,120 Oh, man, is this island every ripe for a Cineplex. 227 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,620 Hey, hey. Look at me. Just tell me. 228 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,620 Tell me what happened. Tell me. All right, 229 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,630 if it's that important to you, I will tell you. 230 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,630 All right. 231 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,130 Late last night she shows up here with a bottle of whiskey, 232 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,630 asked me if I wanted a drink. 233 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:10,130 Okay. Think I'm having a heart attack. 234 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:11,630 So I said sure, and... 235 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:14,140 And, apparently, her ex-boyfriend, uh, 236 00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:16,140 had just gotten engaged, she was feeling kind of rotten, 237 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,640 wanted someone to cheer her up, so... 238 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,640 I'm having a stroke too. It's my own fault. 239 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,140 Then she got kind of tired and asked me 240 00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,650 if I would drive her home... Yeah. 241 00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:24,650 ...which...I did. 242 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:25,650 And...? 243 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,150 ( scoffs ) What "and"? 244 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,150 And what happened then? 245 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,650 You know, there's no point in even talking to you, 246 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:33,160 because no matter what, you won't believe me. 247 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,660 Oh, now, listen, hey, Joe. 248 00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:36,160 You're my brother, okay? 249 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,660 Anything you tell me, I'll take your word for it. 250 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,160 All right. Fine. 251 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,160 Tsk. 252 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,170 I slept with her. 253 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,670 Liar. 254 00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,180 Okay. 255 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:54,680 I didn't sleep with her. 256 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,680 Liar. 257 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,180 Fine. You wanna go back to "I did sleep with her"? 258 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,690 Oh, you're doing this to torture me. 259 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,690 Yeah, basically. Oh, Joe. 260 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,190 Watch it. Uh, uh-- Only Alex calls me that. 261 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,700 Watch out. 262 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,200 Oh, this you are not gonna believe. What? What? 263 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,200 Okay? 264 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,210 Joe won't tell me what happened 265 00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,710 between him and Alex last night, okay? 266 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,710 So he did see her. Oh, yeah, yeah. 267 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,710 Apparently she dropped by here with some sob story 268 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:31,210 about her ex-boyfriend, huh? 269 00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:34,220 Had a couple of drinks, then went back to her place. 270 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:35,720 I bet they did it. 271 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,720 Did what? 272 00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:44,230 The wild thing. 273 00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,230 Now, we're talking about Joe here. 274 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,730 With him it's just "the thing." 275 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,740 This is embarrassing. 276 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:53,740 Oh, I'm sorry, Fay. 277 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,240 We're all being very crude. 278 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,740 Uh-- No, you're being vague. I don't have any idea 279 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,240 what you're talking about. 280 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,250 Oh. Oh. 281 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:04,250 Here's Alex. 282 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:05,250 I want you to go over to her. 283 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,750 Find out what happened last night. 284 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,250 What, why would she tell me? 285 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,750 Well, because she's a girl. Girls like to sit and talk. 286 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,760 That's why there's always a couch in the ladies' room. 287 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,260 Right? Go ahead. Oh. 288 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,760 Hey, Alex. Coffee? 289 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,260 Love some. 290 00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:22,260 Well, that's a cute outfit you have on. 291 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,270 Yeah? Thanks. 292 00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:26,270 ( laughs ) 293 00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:27,770 Oh, it's funny. 294 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,770 What is? Oh, people around here. 295 00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,280 What are you talking about? 296 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,280 Well, ahem, 297 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,280 word is out 298 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,780 that, um, you and Joe got together last night. 299 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,280 It is? 300 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,290 Yeah, but that's all anybody really knows. 301 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:44,790 Now, that's a small town for you. 302 00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:48,290 Everybody in everybody else's business. Yeah. 303 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,790 Boy, and I only tell you this 304 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,790 because...I feel like 305 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,800 we've gotten to be such buddies. 306 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,300 We sure have. 307 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,300 So anything that you feel like you need to say, 308 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,800 or unburden yourself, 309 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,310 just...say it. That's great. 310 00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:05,310 Day or night. 311 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,310 Uh-huh. 312 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:11,810 Boy, I'd be right here for you. 313 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,320 So you're saying I could tell you anything... Oh. 314 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,820 ...no matter how personal? 315 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,320 Absolutely. 316 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,820 Well... 317 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,320 okay. 318 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,830 Helen... 319 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,330 I've heard some people talking. Yes. 320 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830 And no one seems to like 321 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,830 what you're doing with your hair. 322 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,840 ( upbeat theme playing ) 323 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:44,350 Oh, for God's sake. 324 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,850 Lowell still hasn't caught that cricket? Oh. 325 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,850 Lowell, get out here! 326 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,850 Uh, now, Roy. You promised to give him 24 hours. 327 00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,360 That was before my personal belongings 328 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:54,860 were strewn all over the airport. 329 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,860 Oh-- Uh, about that. I hardly think it's appropriate 330 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,360 for a man in your position to even have a poster like that. 331 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,860 I mean, really, a woman in a thong bikini 332 00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:03,870 riding away on a unicycle. 333 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,870 Hey, it that was Paris, and she was carrying a loaf of bread, 334 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,370 they'd call it art. 335 00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:12,370 Oh, my-- What? 336 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,380 ( coughing ) 337 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,380 Well, it shouldn't be long now. 338 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,880 ( coughing ): Lowell, are you crazy? 339 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,880 What is that stuff? 340 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,390 That's a cricket intoxicant I whipped up 341 00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:25,390 in the garage this morning. 342 00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,390 It's perfectly harmless. 343 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,390 Although I did notice it put a nice bend in the shovel I used 344 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,890 to stir it with. 345 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,400 Lowell, I need my office. 346 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400 Have patience, Roy. 347 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,900 Sweet science of cricket hunting takes time. 348 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:44,410 Eventually, the better mind will prevail. 349 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,910 Eh-- Jeez, did I leave my soda in there? 350 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:52,410 I've never wanted something dead so much 351 00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:54,420 in my entire life. 352 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,420 Oh, he'll get the cricket, Roy. 353 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,920 Oh, yeah, the cricket. Heh-heh. 354 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,920 ( plane flies overhead ) 355 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,930 Damn it! Mm. 356 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,430 Something wrong, Brian? 357 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:06,430 ( sighs ) 358 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,930 Yes. Yes, there is. 359 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,430 I didn't see this fork sitting here. 360 00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:15,440 It's just this-- This whole thing with Joe and Alex 361 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,940 has got me crazy. 362 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,440 I-- I can't eat, I can't sleep. 363 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,940 I've gotta find out what happened. 364 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:20,940 We-- Well, I called my friend Nattie 365 00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:22,450 who lives in Alex's house. 366 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,950 And--? And what'd she say? 367 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,450 Nothing. She died last July. 368 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,450 You miss one seniors' meeting, 369 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,450 and you're totally out of the loop. 370 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:33,960 Antonio. Antonio, did you find anything out? 371 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,460 Okay, okay. 372 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:37,460 I spoke to the other cabbies. Okay. 373 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,460 Joe's Jeep was placed outside Alex's building 374 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,970 no earlier than midnight 375 00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,970 and no later than 2:30. 376 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:47,970 Footprints leading to the car 377 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,470 indicate he must have left 378 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,970 between 2 and 4 379 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:53,980 because they were filled with rainwater... 380 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,480 which leads me to the inescapable conclusion 381 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,980 that I have got to get a life. 382 00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,490 You know, this is ridiculous. 383 00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:06,990 We are not children. 384 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,490 If you want the answer to a question... 385 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,990 ( claps once ) ...you ask it. 386 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,500 Was your hair different this morning? 387 00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:14,000 Mind your own business. 388 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,500 ( cheerily ): Hey, Joe. 389 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:23,010 Wow, it's a beautiful day today, isn't it? 390 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,010 ( laughs ) 391 00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:28,510 Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe. 392 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,510 ( taps nails ) 393 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:32,510 So tell me... 394 00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:33,520 how long have we been friends? 395 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,020 I won't tell you what happened. I gave it a shot. 396 00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,520 ( upbeat theme playing ) 397 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,530 ( upbeat theme playing ) 398 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,030 ( sighs ) So did you get it? 399 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,530 As promised, Roy. 400 00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,030 Oh, my gosh. 401 00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:53,540 It's all back to normal. 402 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,040 ( pats on back ) Ohh. 403 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,040 And it's quiet again. 404 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,540 Lowell, how did you do it? 405 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,040 Well, the gas I used was just strong enough 406 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,050 to be disorienting. 407 00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:06,050 But when I came to and realized where I was... 408 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:09,050 well, catching the cricket was child's play. 409 00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,550 Here, have a look. Oh, oh, oh. 410 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:11,550 No, it's okay, Roy. 411 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,560 Cricket is still sedated. 412 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,060 You didn't kill him? 413 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,060 I can't very well perform my experiments 414 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,560 on a dead cricket, can I? 415 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,560 Oh, he's moving. 416 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,570 Shut the box. Shut the box. 417 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,570 ( cricket chirps ) Wow. Right back into your office. 418 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:30,570 Damn it, Lowell. 419 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,570 Didn't you know that was gonna happen? 420 00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:33,580 Actually, no. 421 00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,580 You don't often see that kind of leg power 422 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,080 in a pregnant female. 423 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080 ( cricket chirping ) 424 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,590 ( upbeat theme playing ) 425 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,090 Knock, knock. 426 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,090 Alex, hi. 427 00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,090 Wow, this is two nights in a row for us. 428 00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:55,100 Jeez, I hope people don't start talking about us. 429 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,100 Huh. Oh. And it is-- It's pretty funny, isn't it? 430 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,100 This entire airport is obsessed 431 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,610 with the same stupid little thing. 432 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,610 Yeah. Unraveling the big mystery. Ha-ha-ha! 433 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,110 Yeah. Did they or didn't they? 434 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,110 ( both chuckling ) 435 00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:11,110 ( sighs ) 436 00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:12,620 So did we or didn't we? 437 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,120 ( laughing ) 438 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,120 What? 439 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,620 Come on, you heard me. 440 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,120 Wha--? Wait. Are you kidding? 441 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,630 Oh. Gee, I-- I thought last night 442 00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,630 was a...pretty memorable evening. 443 00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:26,630 Look, I never drink like that. 444 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,630 So...y-- You don't remember 445 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,130 anything from last night? 446 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,130 Well, I remember parts. 447 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:32,640 It's...the end that's a little hazy. 448 00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:34,640 Oh, wow. I can't believe this. 449 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,140 Uh, this entire airport has been dying to know 450 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,640 this one little piece of information. 451 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,640 I'm the only one that has it. 452 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,640 I feel like Yoda. 453 00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,650 Why don't you just tell me what happened? 454 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,150 Yeah, well, I suppose I could. 455 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,650 but, uh... then this would be over, 456 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,650 and...to tell you the truth, I'm kind of enjoying it. 457 00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,150 ( chuckles ) 458 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,160 Fine. I basically know what happened anyway. 459 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,660 You drove me home. 460 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,160 I must have gone inside 461 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,660 and fallen straight asleep. 462 00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:01,660 Yeah, you're right... 463 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,170 basically. 464 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,670 You know what? You know that photo 465 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,170 you have on the mantle? 466 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,670 Y-- It's nice. You look very hot in your flight suit. 467 00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,170 Okay. So you were in my living room. 468 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,680 You probably walked me to the door. 469 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,180 Yeah, that's what happened... 470 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,680 basically. 471 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,680 You know the four-poster bed you have? 472 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,190 That's really nice. I've always wanted one of those. 473 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:25,190 All right. 474 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,190 You probably looked down my hall 475 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,690 and saw my bedroom. 476 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,190 Well...that explains it. 477 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,200 'Course, uh... 478 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,700 it doesn't explain how I would know 479 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,700 that you keep scented pillows on your bed. 480 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,700 I got work to do. 481 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,210 ( inaudible dialogue ) 482 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:52,210 Look, Joe, Satan, whatever your name is. 483 00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:55,220 This is getting old. Why don't you just tell me? 484 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,720 Well, uh... 485 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,220 I guess it's because you want me to. 486 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,720 You know, since you set foot on this island, 487 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,220 you have had the upper hand. 488 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:03,730 You knew I was interested in you, 489 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,230 and you spun me like a top. 490 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,730 Well, now... ( chuckles ) 491 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,230 ...all of a sudden, 492 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:10,230 I am in charge. 493 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:11,730 Yeah, that's right. 494 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,240 That's right. I am in the driver's seat now. 495 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,740 ( imitates motor ) 496 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,240 I guess it never occurred to you 497 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,240 that I might be interested in you too. 498 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,750 What? 499 00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,250 Well, didn't you think that 500 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,750 there might be other reasons 501 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,250 I've been cold to you? 502 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,250 Well...like what? 503 00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:35,760 Well... like I was afraid. 504 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,760 I was new in town. I'd just broken up with someone. 505 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,760 I was vulnerable. 506 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,270 Then this... great-looking, 507 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:46,270 sexy guy presents himself to me. 508 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,270 Sure, I was turned on. 509 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,770 It was all I could do not to...give in 510 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,270 to the incredible desire I felt. 511 00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,780 But if I did-- 512 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,780 Alex-- Alex, just so I'm clear on this, uh, 513 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,780 you are seducing me now so you can find out 514 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,280 if I seduced you last night, is that right? 515 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,780 Oh, all right! 516 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,790 If you wanna be a pig about this, go ahead. 517 00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,790 But just remember one thing: 518 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,790 when I was hurt, I came to you. 519 00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:12,290 I thought, here's someone I can trust, 520 00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:13,800 really open myself up to. 521 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,800 Obviously, I made a mistake. 522 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,810 ( sighs ) 523 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,310 You weren't even going to come after me? 524 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,320 Nope. 525 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,320 All right, Ace, you win. 526 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,320 I know when I've been licked. 527 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,320 Oh, so last night is coming back to you? 528 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,330 I'm out of here. 529 00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:47,830 All right, all right. Wait, hold on. 530 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:48,830 I'll tell you. Come here. 531 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,830 Come on. Sit down. 532 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,340 Okay. 533 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,840 We went back to your place, 534 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,340 and you asked me in, 535 00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,340 and we talked, and it was actually really very nice. 536 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340 And then eventually 537 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:02,850 you fell asleep on my shoulder. 538 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,350 So I picked you up 539 00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:06,850 and, uh, took you in your bedroom 540 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,850 and then I left. 541 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:10,350 Thanks. 542 00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:12,350 I guess you're not such a jerk. 543 00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,860 Sorry to disappoint you. 544 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,360 Well, I better be going. 545 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,860 One more thing I don't remember 546 00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,360 about last night. 547 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,370 Did I give you a good-night kiss? 548 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,370 No. 549 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,380 That was nice. 550 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:42,890 Guess who's driving now? 551 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,390 ( imitates motor ) 552 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,390 ( upbeat theme playing ) 553 00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:08,410 ( upbeat piano theme playing )